Mankind’s love of technology has reached its next stage.

In the far north of the Canadian arctic, during the coldest depths of winter, a lonely beaver trapper was stuck in his cabin behind an avalanche of snow.

With nothing to keep him company other than a gramophone player, a case of whiskey, and a stuffed moose head, the beaver trapper experienced a series of visions. During one of these shamanic experiences, the moose head commanded him to make sweet love to the gramophone player’s horn.

After months of debased sodomy with the record player, the beaver trapper had fallen in love.

Then, one fateful night, during a mid-winter storm, lightning struck the cabin during the beaver trapper’s unnatural congress.  Electricity pulsed through the cabin, destroying the gramophone,  but fusing man and machine.  The beaver trapper’s synapses were imprinted with the grooves of vinyl.

His manhood became infused with the properties of a metronome, doomed to swing forever in time to the earth’s rhythms. When the snow had melted, mourning the loss of his only love,  the beaver trapper traded his pelts for a drum machine and dedicated his life to music.

The beaver trapper had become: sysex500.